Friday, June 11, 2010

Still alive

The longer I don't post, the more I feel like I need some big reason to post. But nothing big is happening -- not that I'm complaining, since big events come in negative varieties too -- so I'll just manufacture some excitement.

Local homeschooler wins award for making it all the way to June -- Early predictions were proved wrong as Tamary successfully refrained from screaming, running away, and inflicting bodily harm on her children during the last grueling months of the school year. Forecasts for next year are cautiously optimistic.

Children are allowed to sign up for library's summer reading program -- Surprisingly, library officials made no protest about giving M., A., and T. their reading program materials. They must not be aware that these children would cheerfully spend half their summer reading without any incentive at all, and thus the library is, in effect, giving them prizes and free books for doing what they would do anyway. Their mother pondered the ethical issues for a moment, then signed up for the adult reading program so she can get prizes and a free book too.

Home still standing despite science classes -- There is no discernible damage to the home that hosted several months of physics classes for experiment-loving youths. In fact, now that Tamary has finally cleaned up her kitchen, there is no sign at all that leftover equipment like lasers, homemade electromagnets, and a near-lethal air hockey table were only recently getting in the way of her family here. "Don't look in the basement, though," she warns.

Symptoms of wasting disease recognized, prognosis hopeful -- A potential epidemic has been averted, thanks to early intervention. When A. and T., within hours of each other, began to approach their mother, loll down on whatever furniture was nearby, and moan, "I'm bored," she immediately guessed that the cause was Summer Syndrome. Acting quickly, she applied the recommended antidote by informing her children that "I'm bored" means "I would really like an extra chore to do right now." The symptoms have decreased, or at least progressed to a less virulent form -- "I'm bored, but not bored enough to do chores" -- and the moaning is quieter and less insistent. Plans are in place for some summer projects and even resuming school activities within a few weeks, in hopes that the disease can be wiped out completely before it spreads any further.


Lisa said...

Very, very clever with the "bored = chores" solution. When I was a kid, some adult told me, "The intelligent mind is never bored." This seemed like very sound logic, but now it stresses me out because whenever I run out of things to do, I start to worry I'm getting dumber.

Cori said...

Yeah, nothing to make them un-bored like a nice chore list. And I really would like to know more about the near-lethal air hockey table incident.

Tamary said...

Lisa, you're not running out of things to do, you're just coming upon "unstructured rejuvenation time." It's recommended by doctors (or should be).

Cori, when we covered Newton's laws of motion, I used the air hockey table's low-friction surface to demonstrate action and reaction. Then when class was over, I let the kids play air hockey till their parents came to pick them up. Immediately a violent competition sprang up, with several of the kids apparently willing to fight to the death to defeat each other. Pucks were flying at high velocity and leaving the table at trajectories Newton would have had trouble calculating. Luckily, there were no deaths and only minor injuries. Later, when we voted on what activities to do during the last class of the semester, you can guess what was at the top of everyone's list.

Andrea M said...

One of the best things that I learned from my grandma was that if I mentioned that I was bored, then that meant that I must really really really want to clean out the toilet. Believe me, it didn't take too long to figure out that I was no longer bored. Thanks for finally, FINALLY posting. I thought you must have died or something. Enjoy the summer. Our kids don't get out of school until June 24th. Tell your kids that they should be grateful that they don't still live up here.

Lisa said...

In addition to the library's summer reading program, I just noticed that our local Pizza Hut has some sort of program going where kids can read books and earn PIZZAS.

Supplement their motivation with CHEESE!